Koreans Obsessed Over Appearance
If you’ve ever shown an interest in Korea, you’ve probably come across discussions about the Korean focus on appearance. It’s one of the most common topics that frequently comes up among foreigners visiting South Korea. Many expats or those who’ve spent significant time in the country often find themselves wondering, “Why are Koreans so interested in my face and outfit?”
In South Korea, commenting on someone’s appearance is a routine part of daily conversation. Remarks like, “You look tired,” “Have you gained weight?” or “Did you eat ramen before bed? Your face looks puffy!” are often made casually, without malice. There’s even a cultural tendency to assess whether a couple’s faces are “compatible.” If both individuals are attractive or their looks complement each other, people say the couple has “good facial compatibility” (얼굴 합이 좋다). On the other hand, if their appearances don’t match well, they might say the couple has “bad facial compatibility” (얼굴 합이 나쁘다). For those unaccustomed to this level of directness, such comments can be surprising—even jarring.
While media often point to South Korea’s highly competitive society and the pervasive influence of media as the roots of this phenomenon, this focus on appearance predates the rise of modern media. And is South Korea uniquely competitive or media-saturated? Countries that embraced capitalism earlier could arguably exhibit even greater levels of these traits. So, what’s driving this deep-seated preoccupation with appearance in Korea?
A Native Seoulite’s Perspective
I was born and raised in Seoul. Although I spent time studying in Massachusetts, worked briefly in Sydney and Hong Kong, and traveled extensively to satisfy my love for exploration, most of my life has been centered in Gangnam, Seoul. So, every time I wore a hoodie to class in the U.S., I experienced a true sense of freedom. Why hadn’t I realized life could be this comfortable? But then, I couldn’t help but wonder—why can’t I dress like this back in Seoul?
Of course, not all Koreans are entirely comfortable with appearance-related judgments, either. Many express frustration about the constant evaluations they face and are fully aware that Koreans can be particularly critical when it comes to looks. Yet, while these remarks may seem intrusive, they are rarely intended to offend. In fact, they’re often seen as a form of social interaction or even humor. A prime example of this is the immense popularity of the YouTube channel 흔한남매 (Typical Siblings) in Korea, where teasing about appearances is a central element of comedy.
The underlying reason for these comments lies in Korea’s cultural emphasis on collectivism and social harmony. Remarking on someone’s appearance can even be interpreted as an expression of care or interest in their well-being. In Korean culture, pointing out that someone “looks tired” or “puffy” might not be criticism at all—it’s more likely a way of showing concern. Isn’t that a little strange when you think about it?
So, if you’re planning to move to or spend significant time in South Korea, I’d encourage you to embrace this unique aspect of the culture. Understanding that appearance-related comments are often rooted in social bonding rather than criticism can make your experience much smoother—and even enjoyable. Since this phenomenon is deeply ingrained in Korean tradition and unlikely to change anytime soon, recognizing its subtleties can truly enrich your time here.
Social and Historical Context
1. Low Racial Diversity: Homogeneity and Beauty Standards
In Korea, there are fewer physical traits to evaluate when it comes to judging someone’s beauty because of the shared ethnic similarities. I’ll never forget the time my roommate’s jaw dropped as she gushed about the “teal eyes” of her crush. Pointing to a photo on his social media, she exclaimed, “Wow, look at those green eyes—I love that color!” Eye color as the spark for romance? I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Growing up surrounded by dark eyes, it had never crossed my mind that something as simple as eye color could ignite love—until I was 20!
Maybe that’s why Koreans are so specific when discussing beauty, especially when it comes to celebrities. Instead of making general statements like, “They have a pretty nose,” you might hear something much more detailed: “The tip of their nose is really pretty,” or “It’s a shame their nose is high but slightly wide.” This precision reflects a deeper cultural tendency to appreciate—and critique—minute details of appearance.
2. Confucian Influence: Beauty as a Moral Compass
Fast forward to a history as rich as it is revealing. During the Joseon Dynasty, Confucianism wasn’t just a guiding philosophy—it was the foundation of society. One Confucian principle, “身言書判” (sin-eon-seo-pan, or the four criteria for evaluating a person: appearance, speech, handwriting, and judgment), established the idea that physical appearance wasn’t merely superficial; it was seen as a reflection of one’s inner virtues. This belief has filtered down through the centuries, embedding itself deeply in Korea’s modern cultural psyche.
In Korea, beauty is more than skin-deep—it’s considered an artful pursuit, a deliberate craft that can be refined and perfected. This perspective goes beyond aesthetics, intertwining the external with the internal. Beauty is often viewed not just as a visual appeal but as a reflection of one’s moral character, emphasizing the belief that outward elegance can mirror inner virtue. It’s an enduring cultural thread that continues to shape perceptions of appearance today.
3. Post-War Impact: Beauty and Social Mobility
The rigid class system of the Joseon period made social mobility nearly impossible—a distant dream for most. However, as the era drew to a close and Korea weathered the upheavals of the Korean War, societal hierarchies began to dissolve, creating a more level playing field. While poverty was widespread, this newfound equality gave rise to a novel form of social currency: physical appearance.
In the post-war society, marrying someone with striking looks wasn’t merely a matter of romance—it was a calculated move that could open doors to better economic and social opportunities. Beauty, in a sense, became an asset, a tool for upward mobility in a world where resources and stability were scarce. This shift deeply ingrained the importance of appearance into the cultural consciousness of Korea, intertwining the idea of beauty with the pursuit of success and opportunity.
4. Modern Trends: The Cosmetic Surgery Craze
Today, Korea is a global powerhouse in cosmetic enhancement, boasting one of the highest rates of cosmetic surgery per capita. From double eyelid surgery to rhinoplasty and apple-cheek reduction, these procedures are not limited to any specific age group or social class. They go beyond personal preference, reflecting deeply rooted societal expectations.
In Korea, cosmetic surgery is often seen not as an act of vanity but as a strategic investment in one’s social and professional prospects. The trend has become so ingrained in popular culture that beauty standards in Korea are as fluid and ever-changing as fashion trends. What is deemed attractive today might shift tomorrow, prompting some to undergo “re-surgeries” to align with evolving norms. This pursuit of physical refinement is widely perceived as a form of self-improvement—a commitment to becoming the best version of oneself. It’s a cultural testament to the value placed on personal grooming and adaptability in a competitive, appearance-conscious society.
The Dark Side of Appearance Obsession
In Seoul, the mantra “appearance is not something one is born with, but something that can be changed through effort” resonates deeply within the culture. This philosophy carries an unspoken implication: if someone’s appearance isn’t up to par, it’s due to a lack of effort in self-care. When combined with a cultural reverence for diligence and hard work, it creates a societal dynamic where those who invest in their looks often feel entitled to critique those who don’t.
But here’s the paradox: not everyone has the means or ability to transform their natural appearance. What happens when changing your looks is simply not an option?
Unfortunately, the culture of appearance-based judgment perpetuates exclusion, making it especially difficult for individuals who don’t conform to societal beauty standards to find acceptance. Beneath its polished surface, South Korea remains an unwelcoming place for people with disabilities. This discomfort stems not only from inadequate physical accessibility but also from a societal mindset that discourages those with unconventional appearances from participating fully in public life. The cultural fixation on appearance fuels this discrimination, fostering an environment where deviation from conventional beauty or physical norms leads to stigmatization and marginalization. It’s a sobering reminder that the emphasis on perfection often comes at the cost of inclusivity and compassion.
Yet, a small but meaningful change is on the horizon. Efforts are underway to foster a more inclusive society, with increasing awareness of the importance of embracing diversity in both appearance and ability. Slowly but surely, more people are recognizing the need to shift societal attitudes toward greater acceptance and support, challenging deeply entrenched norms.
Of course, there’s still a long road ahead. Achieving true inclusivity requires more than surface-level efforts; it demands a collective reimagining of what beauty and success mean—values that go beyond the superficial and celebrate individuality, authenticity, and the unique contributions each person brings to society.
Never Take Unwanted Comments to Heart!
In conclusion, there’s no specific reason why Koreans might stare at you—they do it purely out of habit. If you’re planning to call South Korea home, here’s a tip you’ll thank me for: master the art of “active ignoring” when it comes to appearance-related comments. It might seem like a silly solution, but there’s no other way — most of these remarks come from habit, not hostility. So, when someone casually mentions that you look tired or comments on your diet, remember: it’s more cultural routine than personal critique.
With the generational shift underway in Korean society, there is a growing dialogue about the need to evolve these cultural habits. Many forward-thinking Koreans are advocating for stronger personal boundaries and a more inclusive society. They recognize that these beauty-driven comments, however habitual, can take a toll on self-esteem and body image. The journey toward inclusivity starts not only with reshaping perceptions of beauty but also with fostering acceptance of individuality. As Korea continues to move forward, the hope is that beauty will be redefined—embracing everyone, regardless of their natural appearance or physical abilities.
